Adolescence | Growing Pains

How To Encourage Your Teenaged Child To Study Harder?

July 22, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

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Parents often face trouble with their teenage children because they fail to understand that old methods of communicating with their children will no longer work with their teenaged child. Many gifted students stop studying during their teenaged years because they feel unappreciated by their parents.

When your child is young, he or she may want to excel in studies to make you happy. However, when teenage arrives, the child begins to develop his or her own identity and develops an ego. In such a scenario, the child may not be interested in getting good grades simply to satisfy you. Rather, he or she may focus on self-satisfaction and adopt a more selfish approach.

Many parents make the mistake of taking their children’s obedience for granted. They presume that the child should do well in school because they have done a favor by being a good parent for the child. Well, do you think you would appreciate such a sentiment? Obviously not.

As your child grows, you should set up a quid pro Quo system where you appreciate the child for efforts made and acknowledge that the child is going to benefit a lot in the future from his or her efforts. Instead of demanding good grades as a right, you should express appreciation that the child is considerate enough to work hard for you. That is the right way to motivate your teenaged child to continue being a good student despite the physical and emotional changes in the teen’s life.

Filed Under: Child Development, Education, Parenting Tagged With: Adolescence, Child, Parent

Stages of a Child’s Moral Compass

March 25, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Children somewhere between the ages of seven and twelve already know about the rules they must follow in school and at home. They are able to use moral judgment when deciding whether to engage in certain activities that breaks the rules. They can reason that although they may enjoy the activity, the punishment if caught, is not worth it. They also know that parents, school officials, and law enforcement officials have power over them, and can enforce the rules if need be.

As children progress from the middle years into the preteen years, they experience the consequences of breaking the rules or going against the moral code set forth by their parents. Additionally, they feel good about themselves when helping others, when doing what others expect of them. They know they gain approval when they follow rules.

Because of the experiences they have already gone through, this preteen stage allows them to understand why adults put rules and morals codes in place. When they get into trouble, they may place the blame on someone or something else. They may even feel guilty during this phase when they break a rule or if they do something that, they believe is wrong.

This is a great time for parents to discuss with their preteen the importance of doing what is right and giving examples of what can happen when they do something wrong. It is significant because by the time children reach the teen years, they gain a full understanding of the moral compass their parents set forth for them, and becomes the perfect time for them to disagree and rebel against the rules. Fortunately, for most parents, this rebellious stage only lasts until the teen reaches adulthood.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Adolescence, Morality, Parent

What Parents can do for Discouraged Teenagers

March 16, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Changes teenagers go through cause them to experience a roller coaster of high and low periods. Teenagers that spend more time in a low period than a high one cannot always put their finger on what is bothering them. Fortunately, for most teenagers, these feelings fade away over time. There are ways parents can help them until it does.

Parents need to remain consistent in encouraging their teen. Parents can put emphasis on the many areas where their teenager excels, and spend more time helping them work on areas where they may struggle. They can also look for ways to compliment their teen at various times to build up their self-esteem. Parents may ease their teenager’s stress by engaging in activities the teenager enjoys doing with their parents, more often.

Everyone becomes discouraged at some point in his or her life, though for teenagers, it can seem like the end of the world, because they believe they are the only ones who feel that way. All teenagers go through this and it is perfectly normal.

Another good way to relieve a teen’s feelings of inadequacy is to arrange for a get-together with several of the teens’ friends they consider trustworthy. They can make a list of their attributes and their faults, as they see them, and share these with the group. This will initiate conversations between them where they can encourage each other. Additionally, it will help teens to see that they are not alone in their feelings.

Encouraging others when they are down comes easy for adults and teens alike. Making this a regular activity will help your teenager to see that by encouraging others, they can help themselves through the rough patches.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Adolescence, Parent, Teenagers

The Mix of Adolescents and New Technology has its Disadvantages

March 9, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

Parents recall a time when they begged their parents to buy them the latest fashion in school supplies. Owning the snazzy new binder or the hottest selling lunchbox made them actually look forward to going to school. Today teenagers do the same thing, convincing their parents they must buy them the latest in electronics. In that sense, not much has changed.

What has changed is the effects the new-fangled items can have on an adolescent’s ability to function as they reach adulthood. Being able to master all the latest gadgets may attribute to the burnout some teenagers experience.

The advantage to owning some of the latest technologically advanced items, is that instead of buying a camera, a cell phone, a music player, and a calculator, parents need only to buy the latest hand-held do it all device. While this may save money in the end, it could very well stifle the teenager’s ability to think.

Some child psychologists believe that a child playing video games or using their cell phone excessively takes away from their ability to deal with peers. They believe that teenagers lose the ability to get along with others because they spend more time manipulating a video game control to produce a desired effect. They cannot manipulate their peers so easily. Electronic overload can also interfere with problem solving. The old adage, use or lose it, applies when machines do all one’s critical thinking for them, with the push of a button.

Ironically, the scientists and mathematicians that developed this new technology are the ones who told previous generations of schoolchildren that learning math and science strengthens critical and logical thinking, and gives humans the ability to solve problems and work out solutions.

Filed Under: Child Development Tagged With: Adolescence, Mobile phone, Parent

Don’t Be a “Super-Parent” — Just Be a Parent

January 21, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

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No, it’s not your kid. He or she would neverdo those things, right? Your teen probably brings home the grades like you bring home the bacon. He or she has a great circle of friends—clean, polite, and stable. The teachers love your son or daughter with a passion. Armageddon would occur before you’d realize that your child was doing drugs. Even if you found out that there were ecstasy pills underneath his or her pillow, your immediate response would be to handle it all your own, like the Super-Parent of the Universe, like Jor-el of Krypton sending away his only son Kal-el to become the world’s Superman. Because you don’t need anyone’s help, right? You can handle your teen’s drug addiction all by yourself.

Be humble. Because that’s not the best mindset to take with your troubled teen. It’s serious business, and you don’t have to be a Super-Parent. Just be a parentwho cares and recognize the important steps—such as finding the correct resources to help your child with the addiction. That could mean rehabilitation such as with TheCyn.com, and while that’s a painful decision to make for both you and your child, trust that it’s the best decision ever. This, of course, is a no-brainer, but under no circumstances do you evertake your frustrations out on your child. It almost goes without saying.

Moreover, understanding the problem is important as well. Don’t assume it’s because of peer pressure from friends. There are a number of other issues it could be: bullies, clinical depression, and low self-esteem. Just recognize the underlying issue and deal with it accordingly. What’s important, too, is understanding—not just action. Quite honestly, most of the action inevitably will be done by your child.

Keep these tips in mind. It’s part of being a good parent. It will lead to your son or daughter being a good kid. Not a bad one.

Filed Under: Parenting, Stress Tagged With: Adolescence, Health, Jor-El, Krypton, Major depressive disorder, Parent, Substance dependence, Superman

Is Your Adolescent Merely Going through a Phase?

January 8, 2011 by admin Leave a Comment

As early as the 1950′s, child psychologists theorized that adolescents go through different phases as they experience their bodies changing, such as trying to define themselves through role-playing.

This period in a child’s life is most assuredly the most difficult time for parents, unless you are one of the lucky ones. Some teenagers seem to get from the age of 13 to 18 without too many problems.

To find out whom they are and how they relate to the world, adolescents go through phases that include dressing up like the popular teens or dressing up in outfits that no one else is wearing. Teenage boys and girls now dye their hair with fluorescent colors, and pierce and tattoo their bodies. This is equal to girls in the sixties wearing mini-skirts, and teenage boys growing their hair longer.

Eventually, most adolescents will stop most of the role-playing and will understand how they fit into society. If a parent can find the restraint at some point to stop commenting on the way their teen looks or dresses, the teen will eventually move on and begin to dress in a more appropriate way.

There are those adolescents, however, who struggle to get through this stage, and that is where parents need to step in. A parent needs to watch for other signs that are not in line with their teen’s behavior, as they know it. When a phase becomes an obsession or a problem in school or with friends, most parents will recognize it themselves, or they may begin receiving phone calls of complaints from the teen’s school or parents of their friends.

Counseling with a child psychologist will reveal any problems they may be experiencing that are causing them to act out. Adolescents are able to talk to strangers about subjects that are not comfortable talking to their parents about, and some problems are resolved within a short time.

Child psychologists can also advise parents on what to do if their teen’s problem is something other than a phase, on what to do next, if they feel that counseling is not enough.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: Adolescence, Parent