You are here: Home / Archives for Parent

How To Encourage Your Teenaged Child To Study Harder?

July 22, 2011 by Leave a Comment
Kids on a road near Rishikesh, India. They are...

Image via Wikipedia

Parents often face trouble with their teenage children because they fail to understand that old methods of communicating with their children will no longer work with their teenaged child. Many gifted students stop studying during their teenaged years because they feel unappreciated by their parents.

When your child is young, he or she may want to excel in studies to make you happy. However, when teenage arrives, the child begins to develop his or her own identity and develops an ego. In such a scenario, the child may not be interested in getting good grades simply to satisfy you. Rather, he or she may focus on self-satisfaction and adopt a more selfish approach.

Many parents make the mistake of taking their children’s obedience for granted. They presume that the child should do well in school because they have done a favor by being a good parent for the child. Well, do you think you would appreciate such a sentiment? Obviously not.

As your child grows, you should set up a quid pro Quo system where you appreciate the child for efforts made and acknowledge that the child is going to benefit a lot in the future from his or her efforts. Instead of demanding good grades as a right, you should express appreciation that the child is considerate enough to work hard for you. That is the right way to motivate your teenaged child to continue being a good student despite the physical and emotional changes in the teen’s life.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Child Development, Education, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Encouragement is Free

May 2, 2011 by Leave a Comment

While there are so many things that parents today want to give their child, encouragement is one of the most important. As you look around chances are that you are bombarded with all types of products and services that insist that you need them in order to be a better parent. Some of these things may really work but just taking the time to say uplifting words to your child is completely free and priceless all at the same time.

Don’t worry about being eloquent. Kids, no matter what their age, would rather have your sincerity than a long list of words that sound nice but don’t mean anything. Just begin to look for an opportunity to give them a little boost. Your daughter sits at the table working through a complicated math problem and can’t quite seem to figure it out. Take the time to sit down with her, look her in the eye, and tell her that you know she can do it. Help her work through the problem, but when she finds success, encourage it!

If your son is struggling with a decision that he is making about school or an extra curricular activity take the time to listen to each option he is considering. You’ll get insight as to where he is coming from. As a parent, you may want to jump in and tell him just what to do because you see the big picture; you see what is best for him. But give him the chance to work it out himself and encourage him by letting him know that you believe he will make the best decision.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

Stages of a Child’s Moral Compass

March 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Children somewhere between the ages of seven and twelve already know about the rules they must follow in school and at home. They are able to use moral judgment when deciding whether to engage in certain activities that breaks the rules. They can reason that although they may enjoy the activity, the punishment if caught, is not worth it. They also know that parents, school officials, and law enforcement officials have power over them, and can enforce the rules if need be.

As children progress from the middle years into the preteen years, they experience the consequences of breaking the rules or going against the moral code set forth by their parents. Additionally, they feel good about themselves when helping others, when doing what others expect of them. They know they gain approval when they follow rules.

Because of the experiences they have already gone through, this preteen stage allows them to understand why adults put rules and morals codes in place. When they get into trouble, they may place the blame on someone or something else. They may even feel guilty during this phase when they break a rule or if they do something that, they believe is wrong.

This is a great time for parents to discuss with their preteen the importance of doing what is right and giving examples of what can happen when they do something wrong. It is significant because by the time children reach the teen years, they gain a full understanding of the moral compass their parents set forth for them, and becomes the perfect time for them to disagree and rebel against the rules. Fortunately, for most parents, this rebellious stage only lasts until the teen reaches adulthood.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

What Parents can do for Discouraged Teenagers

March 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Changes teenagers go through cause them to experience a roller coaster of high and low periods. Teenagers that spend more time in a low period than a high one cannot always put their finger on what is bothering them. Fortunately, for most teenagers, these feelings fade away over time. There are ways parents can help them until it does.

Parents need to remain consistent in encouraging their teen. Parents can put emphasis on the many areas where their teenager excels, and spend more time helping them work on areas where they may struggle. They can also look for ways to compliment their teen at various times to build up their self-esteem. Parents may ease their teenager’s stress by engaging in activities the teenager enjoys doing with their parents, more often.

Everyone becomes discouraged at some point in his or her life, though for teenagers, it can seem like the end of the world, because they believe they are the only ones who feel that way. All teenagers go through this and it is perfectly normal.

Another good way to relieve a teen’s feelings of inadequacy is to arrange for a get-together with several of the teens’ friends they consider trustworthy. They can make a list of their attributes and their faults, as they see them, and share these with the group. This will initiate conversations between them where they can encourage each other. Additionally, it will help teens to see that they are not alone in their feelings.

Encouraging others when they are down comes easy for adults and teens alike. Making this a regular activity will help your teenager to see that by encouraging others, they can help themselves through the rough patches.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

The Mix of Adolescents and New Technology has its Disadvantages

March 9, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Parents recall a time when they begged their parents to buy them the latest fashion in school supplies. Owning the snazzy new binder or the hottest selling lunchbox made them actually look forward to going to school. Today teenagers do the same thing, convincing their parents they must buy them the latest in electronics. In that sense, not much has changed.

What has changed is the effects the new-fangled items can have on an adolescent’s ability to function as they reach adulthood. Being able to master all the latest gadgets may attribute to the burnout some teenagers experience.

The advantage to owning some of the latest technologically advanced items, is that instead of buying a camera, a cell phone, a music player, and a calculator, parents need only to buy the latest hand-held do it all device. While this may save money in the end, it could very well stifle the teenager’s ability to think.

Some child psychologists believe that a child playing video games or using their cell phone excessively takes away from their ability to deal with peers. They believe that teenagers lose the ability to get along with others because they spend more time manipulating a video game control to produce a desired effect. They cannot manipulate their peers so easily. Electronic overload can also interfere with problem solving. The old adage, use or lose it, applies when machines do all one’s critical thinking for them, with the push of a button.

Ironically, the scientists and mathematicians that developed this new technology are the ones who told previous generations of schoolchildren that learning math and science strengthens critical and logical thinking, and gives humans the ability to solve problems and work out solutions.

Filed Under: Child Development Tagged With: , ,

Problems of Children who Ride the School Bus

March 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

When children come home frequently complaining about problems on the school bus, parents need to call the school, to find out if school officials are aware of any problems. It is the school’s responsibility to instruct the school bus driver on how to handle problems on their bus. A parent’s call may be the first they hear of any problem. If the problems persist, parents should make follow-up calls until the problems go away.

There are school bus issues that parents may not think are the school’s responsibility. These problems have to do with the safety of children at their designated school bus stops. Unfortunately, parents of children old enough to walk to the bus stop themselves might not find out about these problems until tragedy strikes. Parents should observe what goes on at the school bus stop. With or without their child’s knowledge, parents must make sure drivers observe the rules for school buses.

When children are boarding or departing school buses, the driver puts out the stop sign on the side of the bus, and flashes the red lights. Anyone who drives knows that there are people who disregard stop signs and red lights. Any parent that does not drive, observes drivers ignoring traffic regulations regarding pedestrians. These drivers do the same thing when it involves small children at school bus stops.

Any parent, who sees a driver ignoring the red lights and stop sign on a school bus, needs to contact the school and the local authorities, and never let up until someone takes action. A child’s safety is of the utmost importance, and parents, the school, and authorities need to ensure their safety at all times, including at school bus stops.

Filed Under: Child Development, Education Tagged With: , ,

Promoting a Child’s Creativity without Being Overbearing

February 18, 2011 by Leave a Comment

It is perfectly natural for a parent to want their child to engage in extracurricular activities they enjoyed when they were children themselves. Parents can certainly offer suggestions or present choices to a child regarding outside activities. This is an excellent way for a child to highlight his or her talents or creative ability.

The downside is that a parent may tend to push a child to remain in a club or on a sports team they do not enjoy. Once the child begins to balk regularly, it is time for the parent to listen. Not every child will want to participate in certain activities, regardless of whether or not he or she possesses the necessary skills to excel.

A child may love to paint, draw, or write, regardless of their level of talent in creative arts. On the other hand, a parent may know that their child has artistic or athletic ability and wish their child would pursue that instead of playing sports. The child may not care for the discipline and time involved in playing a musical instrument, or completing an art project now, but they may decide to do so on their own later.

As long as the child is happy, a parent does not need to worry that their child may miss the opportunity to become the next Beethoven, Rembrandt, or Mickey Mantle. Children have a tendency to find their own way, when it comes to figuring out their passions.

One last thing to remember is that even if a child gave up being a scout, a ballet dancer, or a team player, it just means that they have not yet found an activity they enjoy. With so many opportunities for a child, parents can reassure themselves that whether it is music, art, sports or something else, your child will find his or her niche at some point.

Filed Under: Child Development, Education Tagged With: , ,

Encouraging Children from Infancy to Adulthood

February 8, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Every parent hopes that when their children grow up, they will look back on their childhood years fondly. When you talk to people who say they had a wonderful childhood, they usually tell you that their parents were supportive in everything they did as children, and encouraged them every step of the way.

Encouraging a baby to utter his or her first words, or into taking that first step, comes easy for parents. Encouraging a toddler or preschooler to share toys and to play nice with others, takes a little more effort on the part of the parent, but eventually children get the idea that by doing these things, the child will make, and keep friends.

When children start school, parents encourage them to do their best while helping them adjust to spending the day away from their parents. Parents render this same kind of support and encouragement when children enter high school.

Even when parents consistently lend their support and guide their children through every nuance of their childhood years, there are those times when children need more than encouragement. When children feel discouraged, parents must allow their children to express their thoughts and feelings.

Parents cannot bear to see their children suffer, but instead of consoling children by telling them that they are mistaken in their thoughts and feelings, they need to encourage their children to talk about their problems and then discuss ways to solve those problems.

Understanding that it is perfectly fine to express sadness or anger helps children learn that there are steps they can take to improve those things that upset them. They learn they have the ability within themselves to change things for the better.

Encouraging children to express negative feelings and helping them deal with them, makes them feel better about themselves and teaches them to use a common sense approach to life’s struggles.

Filed Under: Child Development, Education Tagged With: , ,

Raising a Morally and Ethically Sound Child

February 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

There is a group of adults with no morals or ethics, because they have no conscience. Nothing a parent did or did not do, caused this behavior, because it is a mental disorder. On the other end of the spectrum are those people who possess too much of a conscience and hold themselves, and others, up to the highest standard of ethics and morals. At times, it is impossible for anyone to stand by these values, even when riddled with guilt.

The majority of society falls into a third category, and that is the morally, ethically sound category. Although people differ in what they believe is moral, ethical, or even legal, they all have in common the satisfaction of living by these standards brings a healthy balance between conscience and guilt.

Raising children up within their standards requires more effort in today’s society, than it did in previous generations. Society’s moral and ethical standards change over time and parents need to make their children understand why behaving a certain way is unacceptable in their eyes, even though outsiders may think there is nothing wrong with it.

Every family has a set of rules, based on the values of the adults in the house. These can deal with responsibilities, acceptable material in television and radio programs, being charitable, and so on. The best way to drive home the ideas of how you expect your child to behave at home, and in situations outside the home, is to be sure your child understands the rules and standards you set.

Your children will spend a significant amount of time with others in authority, in school, at church, and with law enforcement. Although these people can help to reinforce the values a child learns in the home, parents must set the best example by always following house rules.

Filed Under: Child Development, Education Tagged With: , ,

Dealing with a Teenager Bending the Rules

January 26, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Parents of teenagers watch their once cooperative pre-teen turn into a rebellious young adult. Nagging a teenager about bending the rules is stressful for the parent, and leads to a battle of wills more frequently.

Because questioning authority comes into play at this stage, parents need to allow their teens to suffer the consequences of their actions. Over time, they begin to see that for every infraction, there is a reaction from others the teen encounters every day.

At Home

  • Shirk household chores or responsibilities.

For every time a teenager skips out on their assigned chore, parents need to withhold a privilege, and at this age, teens respond quickly to parents withholding monetary rewards or allowances.

It will not take long for the teen to realize that they will not receive any money if they do not complete their chores.

  • Use offensive language deemed off-limits by parents

Tell your teen the language is offensive to you, and suggest they use different words to express their thoughts. When these ideas do not work, refuse to respond when they use offensive words while conversing with you.

A teen will realize that in order for a parent to hear what they are saying, they need to stop using offensive words to express their feelings.

At School

  • Cutting class or disrupting classroom

School administrators will assign detentions for students who continue to skip classes, or who continue to disrupt the class by refusing to follow school rules.

Teenagers learn quickly that trying to get away with spending less time in school than is required; will actually mean spending more time in school for them.

At Play

  • Alienating friends

To teenagers, having friends is extremely important. Realizing the consequences of their actions among friends, takes less time than in any other area. They learn not to push the boundaries with friends by being rude, obnoxious or downright mean, because they are liable to lose a friend for keeps.

Although the teen years appear to last forever, parents can gain solace in knowing adolescents learn valuable life lessons they will carry with them into adulthood.

Filed Under: Child Development, Parenting Tagged With: ,
«Older Posts